I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
