i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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