so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
