nut hugger
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
