I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
