i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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