He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Drake has all the answers
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
