im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
