Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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