haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think i have herpe
just one?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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