You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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