return my video game
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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