I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have fence marks all over my body
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Your penis caused this!
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