I think I am morally bankrupt
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
