yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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