I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
