It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
