A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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