I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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