i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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