I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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