Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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