im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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