Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
