My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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