hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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