Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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