Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
