; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
