his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
