I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
