sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
