would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
