I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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