my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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