My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
