marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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