and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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