guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
