I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
