did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
