I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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