I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
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So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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