He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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