We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
