is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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