why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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