K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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