Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
