Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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