I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The air was thick with penises
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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