we're blogging at a bar
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
