I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
