I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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